Year of 30

Greetings, all! It's a new year, so it's time for resolutions. This year, I have decided to avoid traditional resolutions and take on something brand new.

I will be turning 30 this August. Argh! Yay! I really vacillate between excitement and dread when it comes to this big birthday. I would like to begin my life as a 30-something as a better and more well-rounded person, so I came up with this 2012 challenge:

Year of 30

Challenges for 2012 - The Year I Turn 30

1. Lose 30 pounds

2. Connect or re-connect with 30 friends (phone, email, in person)

3. Make 30 donations to worthwhile causes (money, time, goods)

4. Try 30 new foods

5. Learn 30 new things

6. Read 30 books

7. Try 30 activities I’ve never tried before

8. Get rid of 30 things (trash, donate)

9. Get rid of 30 more things (trash, donate)

10. Write 30 blog entries

11. Create 30 new classroom activities/lessons

12. Meditate for 30 minutes 30 times

13. Cook 30 new dishes

14. Wear 30 different pieces of jewelry

15. Wear my hair in 30 different ways

16. Watch (or listen to) 30 baseball games

17. Organize 30 things

18. Take 30 interesting photographs

19. Volunteer for 30 hours

20. Give 30 unexpected gifts (time, $$, material things, etc.)

21. Watch 30 classic movies

22. Go on 30 outdoor walks

23. Write 30 handwritten letters

24. Memorize 30 things (quotes, Bible verses, poems, etc.)

25. Learn and use 30 new words

26. Watch 30 episodes of Star Trek

27. Learn 30 new things about family members

28. Listen to/watch 30 courses – online, DVD, or in person

29. Do 30 anonymous good deeds

30. Pick the 30 highlights of my 20s

The goal is to complete all 30 of these challenges by 11:59:59 on December 31, 2012. I hope to chronicle my Year of 30 journey on this blog. Let me know if you have any suggestions about things to do or experience, I would appreciate it!

Without

Well, it's certainly been a busy time. I've been pretty good about what I eat lately, so that's a plus.

Now for the big news: on September 26, 2011, I drank my last Diet Coke. Well, that's not entirely true. I haven't had one since then, but I'm not eliminating the possibility all together. But, Diet Cokes will be extremely limited and only in very small amounts. I know that if I ban it all together, I'll crave it desperately and cave. If I allow it sometimes, I'm less likely to want it.

It's been surprisingly easy. I've had only two sips on two different days, and both times I found the experience... lacking. Certainly not the reaction I've directed at the sweet, bubbly drink in the past.

It started with a tweet from my most favorite of celebrities (though he refers to himself as a cable-lebrity), Alton Brown. A couple of years ago he lost a ton of weight and did a whole episode of his show 'Good Eats' dedicated to how he made it happen. Mr. Brown posted a link to an article about how artificial sweeteners may affect your metabolism. The 'layperson' version of the article can be found here. I have found Mr. Brown to be a level-headed person who is not prone to hyperbole or over-dramatization about things, so I figured I'd read the article.

Ordinarily, I'm not one to vilify artificial sweeteners. Not enough research has been done to show it causes cancer in small to moderate amounts. It increased cancer odds if they fed it to mice by the truckload, so it wasn't the best of research. This study was different. It was the most logical explanation of what artificial sweeteners may be doing to our bodies that I have ever heard. It didn't contain all the frightening buzz words (cancer, etc.) - just a simple, logical conclusion about what it might be doing. The researchers even said upfront that more research was required and that their study was just an initial finding.

But it was enough. I decided that it was time for me and aspartame (and sadly, Diet Coke) to part ways. I drank Crystal Light lemonade the next day, but it wasn't too long when it dawned on me that it had aspartame in it, too. ::sigh::  Several days later I found True Lemon lemonade packets. Low calorie lemonade that used natural ingredients. A tiny bit of sugar and stevia. Stevia is a natural, plant-based sugar that I believe is lower calorie than regular sugar. I still have to do more research, but my initial findings didn't produce anything alarming. True Lemon has now become my weekday lunch beverage of choice. Icy, icy cold, of course.

With this decision I've swiftly eliminated a big beverage choice. I don't drink alcohol (I don't like the taste), I don't like regular sodas, and now I'm not drinking artificial sweeteners. I guess I'll have to find juices and teas that I like now!

On that note, I'm off to bed. I've got to teach/converse with a lovely group of middle schoolers tomorrow morning. And then, the best afternoon ever - Mr. Alton Brown is in STL and I'll be there to hear him and meet him. WHOO HOO! :) :)

Adventures in Squash

Earlier this week I ventured out of my culinary comfort zone (both in taste and cooking) and decided to try spaghetti squash. I've read some blogs where people talked about it, and I personally know people who like it. So, I decided to give it a try. I used a cooking method outlined by Emily Malone of the Daily Garnish. It looked yummy with garlic and onion, so I figured why not?

I am a huge carb fiend, so it would be good if I could find something lower calorie to mimic noodles. I knew it wouldn't taste quite the same, but it may have a similar texture.

Here goes!

This is a spaghetti squash. I'd never even paid attention to the squash/gourd section of the grocery store before, so I'd never gotten a good look at one of these babies. It was deceptively heavy!

It also was very difficult to cut. I had to enlist my mother's help. She tamed the beast after several attempts. Friend, blogger and P.E. assistant at my school, Kristen V, gave me a tip for easier cutting: cut in half widthwise first, then cut each half lengthwise. You end up with four pieces, but that's fine. I'll be doing this in the future! :)

Next, put the halves or quarters in a 9 by 13 glass dish (or what ever size will hold them), paint with olive oil, then top with minced garlic and onion. Emily at the Daily Garnish used shallots, but our store didn't have any that looked nice. I just used white onion and it was fine.

Put in a 375 degree oven and bake/roast for a little over an hour, or until you can pull the strings away.

When they're finished, they can do this (on right):

And behold! A bowl full of delicious 'spaghetti' noodles! They actually tasted pretty good by themselves. I thought they had the consistency/texture of hash browns. Not overcooked ones, the ones that still have a bit of crunch to it. Yum!

I topped mine with meat sauce that my mom had made and frozen. I also added a few meatballs. It was a delicious meal! I may not need real spaghetti noodles until after squash season!

I packed some leftovers as my lunch for the next day and was delighted to find that it reheated very well. Definitely something I'd make again. If you haven't made spaghetti squash before, now is the time! Yum!

Lazy Sunday

After a very productive workout on Saturday, and multiple workouts during the week, I made today a lazy Sunday. It was a perfect one - gloomy and rainy.

I stayed in bed and read. I've gotten addicted to a new blog. Recommended by the lovely Kristen V, I started reading The Daily Garnish by Emily Malone. Perused through a few posts and fell in love. I've spent the weekend reading her blog - starting at entry number one! I'm only up to summer of 2010 right now. This girl blogs a lot! Love it! She's a vegetarian/vegan who is a serious runner and a culinary school grad. I marvel at all the different types of food she eats. Some of it I know I can't eat (I've tried it and not liked it), but I'm hoping to be a little bit more adventurous when it comes to food.

Today at the grocery store I purchased a spaghetti squash. I've never had one before, but Emily's recipe looked so yummy. She has a cream sauce on hers, but I'm going to use a tomato and meat sauce. She had blogged about using a tomato sauce.

Since I didn't want to take on the world on this lazy Sunday, I had the little bit of leftovers that I had from a couple of days ago. I got brave and made couscous! My mix up was plain couscous, sauted onion and fresh garlic, leftover grilled chicken, peas and corn mixed with a bit of olive oil, and a dash of onion powder and garlic salt. It was so yummy!

This is what my mix up looked like the night I made it. It was just as good as a reheated leftover! Since I didn't have much left, I decided to add a salad. I bought a bunch of fresh veggies at the grocery store this afternoon, so I wanted to try my planned concoction. Baby spinach, butter lettuce, cauliflower, carrots, cucumber, and a few bacon bits. Instead of dressing I opted for some diced up provel cheese worms. They're not actually worms, obviously, but that's the shape they're in. I remember these worms being amazing on a salad that they used to serve at our Caleco's restaurant before they went out of business.

The salad was absolutely delicious! I figure I can dice the cheese into smaller pieces and get away with using less. But, everything was fabulous the way it was. Who can argue with extra cheese? :)

Pretty in addition to being delicious!

Well, I've packed my lunch for tomorrow (more salad and leftover mac and cheese.) Yes, I am going to consume Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. I make my own version that I consider to be 'very light prep.' I never measure, I just splash in some skim milk and put in maybe 1 or 1.5 teaspoons of Smart Balance butter. So, it's less horrible than standard preparation. :)

I get to take my 4th, 5th, and 6th grade kiddos on a field trip tomorrow. We're headed to the Blanche M. Touhill Performing Arts Center on the UMSL campus to see a special production of 'Apollo: To the Moon.' I've read awesome reviews of the show and cannot wait to see it. Plus, the bonus is that I only have to teach for 30 minutes tomorrow! Only 1 first grade class. The rest will be field tripped out. Yay!

Happy week to everyone!

What is this magic?

I have never been an athlete. Nor have I ever been considered athletic. I never played organized sports - ever. Not even when I was small. I did gymnastics for a little while when I was young, but not for long. I took dance lessons for a total of maybe 6 weeks when I was in kindergarten.

The most athletic thing I ever did was take figure skating lessons. I skated from first grade through 11th grade. I was never competitive, but enjoyed skating for fun. During my sophomore and junior years of high school, it wasn't unusual for me to be on the ice for 5 or 6 hours a week. I worked as a cashier in order to get free admission to the public sessions. :)

I was an okay skater. In the end, I was capable of a few single revolution jumps. Not consistently, but I had landed them successfully on several occasions. That was when skating kind of fell off for me. I said it was the busyness of senior year, but deep down, that was a lie. It was fear. I was deathly afraid of falling, (and hurting myself) so I never really threw myself fully into the jumps. I'd never achieve a higher level without the power of a full, confident jumper.

Fear will be a recurring theme on this blog. Fear is why I never wanted to play sports. I HATED P.E. I cannot fully express how terrifying P.E. was to me. My absolute favorite part of P.E. was when we would do square dancing. I kid you not. I adored (and actually still adore) square dancing. This is odd since I am a terrible, horrible dancer. Maybe it's not. Square dancing is specific and all about following directions. I'm good at that. :)

Since I've never been athletic, exercising hasn't been something I've ever enjoyed. Especially since I've become 'Fat Me.' I assume that's a major part of how I became 'Fat Me,' but that's another story.

In January I vowed to start exercising more. Seeing as I exercised about once a month before that, I thought it would be no problem. I started walking on the treadmill I convinced my dad and brother to set up in the basement. I tried a little running, but that stopped after 30 seconds and I wanted to die.

I'd have weeks where I was pretty consistent, then times I wouldn't walk for weeks. At the end of March, I had a re-occurring ingrown toenail removed permanently. (Not the whole nail, only the ingrown part.) My big toe was very tender, so that kept me off the treadmill for a long time. Longer than it should have, truthfully.

The month before I had signed up to participate in the Girls on the Run 5K at Forest Park. My school had about eight 5th grade girls participating, so their two coaches (The P.E. and Spanish assistants) wanted other teachers to join in to support them. Pam, our Art teacher, and I were the only ones that signed up. When the walk came in May, I had hardly walked on the treadmill. I was fearful about how it would go. Though Pam is a runner, she said she would walk the whole way with me. I was really grateful for that sacrifice.

The day was rainy and cold. Yuck. Our school name starts with an 'A,' so we were very last in the reverse alphabetical order starting. So, before Pam and I had even reached the end of mile 1, we could hear the announcer saying the names of people as they came across the finish line! Woah.

Before that day, my very fastest mile had been about 19:30. That was only one mile and I had been booking it the whole way. Much to my surprise, Pam kept me energized and moving quickly, and we finished in just under 1 hour.

After the 5k, I didn't do much walking. It wasn't until later in the summer that I decided to hit the treadmill again. This time I tried to incorporate short bouts of running. I started as a very slow and awkward runner! A couple of months of this go by and it's September. A few weeks ago I decided that my New Balance walking shoes were probably not going to cut it for running anymore. I did a bit of research and bought a pair of Brooks Glycerin running shoes. They were a recommended pair AND on sale, so I got them. It's still the most I've ever paid for a pair of tennies!

Now we arrive at today. First, I adore my shoes. They have been super comfortable since the moment I put them on. Also, I have been running significant amounts (for me) this week! Earlier this week I had my fastest mile time since elementary school: 17:48. It's a long time, yes, but fast for me. This included 4 minutes running followed by 2-3 minutes of walking.

Let me define running for me. I have a stride that is comparable to a toddler, so a good paced jog is 3.5 - 3.7 miles per hour. The fastest walking speed I can maintain for longer than 15 seconds is about 3 miles per hour.

Today I have had my biggest success and most running to date. I did one mile in 19:13 (3 minutes run, 3 minutes walk) followed by another mile in 19:27! (Also 3 mins run, 3 walk).  I feel accomplished. And tired. :)

Me before my walk today. Yes, I am rocking a pair of old school headphones. I'm not a big fan of the earbuds.

Thank you to the folks who posted such kind things on my Facebook page yesterday. It made me glad I didn't immediately delete my posts like I wanted to last night. I'm not seeking compliments, but I am grateful for the support. Thank you.

Brutally honest

At this point in my life, I struggle with a weight issue. It's obvious when you look at me. However, many people who know me now didn't know me when I was in high school or early college. Though I thought I was fat then, I look back and realize just how super skinny I was.

Here is a picture from August of 2001 - right before I started college:

It's a picture of a picture, so it's not great quality. But, it gets across just how skinny I was. When I started college, I weighed a grand total of 125 pounds. And I was so unhappy with myself.

Then college, a breakup with my fiance, graduating with no job, new boyfriend, new breakup, still no steady job, general unhappiness, etc, happened.

Flash forward to October of 2009. (It's the most recent picture I have on hand)

In less than 10 years, I had put on.... let's say a substantial amount of weight. Sadly, this picture isn't even me at my heaviest. But, it's fairly close.

'Fat me' is extraordinarily insecure. It's like I have taken all the insecurities that I had when I was thin and multiplied them, then internalized them. I put on a happy, positive front to hide my internal struggles. I present what I wish I truly was.

Hence, this blog. It's time to face the music. Ladies and gentlemen, I hate - no, loathe. Perhaps despise. Myself. But, I want to change that. I know that there are wonderful things about me. But the person that lives in my head can be so cruel. Constantly, unrelentingly cruel.

Truthfully, I am terrified about this blog and my journey. I am a perfectionist, so the idea of sharing my flaws so openly with others is frightening. But, I have to do it. This will help me be honest with myself. I don't care if absolutely no one other than me looks at this blog - I will see it. And I will learn. And heal.

Each breath, each step is a new start. Negative me will be slowly eclipsed by positive me.

So, if you choose to read this, I welcome it. And fear it. I beg you not to judge, because I guarantee I'll be doing enough judging for all of us!

To quote an amazing song (that happened to be the theme of the short-lived 'Star Trek: Enterprise') by Russell Watson:

"It's been a long road getting from there to here. It's been a long time, but my time is finally near."

Let's start at the very beginning...

Like so many others around me, I have decided to start a blog. This blog is mostly for myself. If I write things down and post them for all the world to see, then they are the truth and I must face them.

As the famous quote says, 'A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.'

This blog is my single step. To anyone who reads, thanks in advance. I'm not exactly sure what you'll find here!

To new beginnings!

Cassie